Harry and Sal walk down the street.
SAL: I just don’t understand what’s so important that I had to cancel my-
HARRY: You’ll know very shortly.
Harry wrangles Sal through the doors of a diner.
SAL: Okay, Agatha Christie, enough with the-
Paul, in full Krishna garb, steps off his stool and smiles at Sal.
PAUL: Hare Krishna, Salvatore.
Sal’s eyes grow as wide as dinner plates. He takes a moment to breathe.
SAL: Please, God, tell me it’s chemotherapy.
Michael Ginsberg enters the break room in a huff, aggressively drops his satchel on the table. Sal stirs a drink.
SAL: Easy, kitten, you’ll scratch the enamel.
SAL: Something the matter?
GINSBERG: Draper. All that work I did on the Sno-Ball campaign, and-
SAL: Kid, if you’re going to turn into Blanche DuBois every time Don Draper treats you unfairly, you might as well go ahead and marry him.
Megan walks up to Sal.
MEGAN: I’m sorry we didn’t get to know each other more. I’ve really enjoyed working with you.
SAL: Sweetheart, the pleasure’s been mine. Just make sure I get a ticket to see you as Liza.
MEGAN: I don’t know if “My Fair Lady” is a reasonable ambition.
SAL: “Gigi” then. It’ll suit you better, anyway.
Out With the Old…
Ken and Sal ride up the elevator.
KEN: …And that bit about going to the future…I’m telling you, I’ve never seen a pitch like it.
SAL: And to think, all it took was a baked bean account to put her over the top.
KEN: I don’t know if she married him to get the job, but at this point, I don’t really care. It was a total touchdown.
SAL: What’s good for Don is good for us.
KEN: Can you imagine if Betty had tried to write copy?
SAL: I’m not entirely convinced the woman could write more than her name.
I’m Now Accepting Requests.
No promises, but if you message me with a scene you want to see, I just might write it and post it.
Sal, Ken, and Stan enter Roger’s office. Roger motions for them to sit.
ROGER: Boys, I called you in here ‘cause you’re the only ones that are both IN the office and DON’T have some kind of insect up your ass.
STAN: Well, sir, I consider this a real-
ROGER: Don’t push your luck, Rizzo.
Roger starts pouring drinks.
ROGER: Anyway, the reason I wanted warm male bodies in here…no, that doesn’t sound right.
The men laugh.
ROGER: I’m getting divorced.
The laughter dies.
KEN: Roger, are you serious?
SAL: Well, I can’t speak for everyone, Roger…
Sal stands with his glass and holds it up toward Roger.
SAL: But here’s to the next wave of typists.
Roger laughs, prompting the other men to do so. they clink glasses.
Ken sits at his desk, holding a manuscript in his hands. Sal walks into the room. Ken quickly puts it away.
SAL: Not your resume, I hope.
KEN: No, it’s nothing.
SAL: By “nothing”, you mean a “Hargrove” original?
Ken grins sheepishly.
KEN: I guess I can’t hide it from anyone.
SAL: You know I’ve always been a fan.
KEN: This isn’t exactly “Tapping a Maple on a Cold Vermont Morning”.
SAL: I hear it’s something to do with robots, sabotage, and mass murder.
SAL: So, when’s it getting published?
KEN: Are you kidding me? Roger would throw me out the window.
SAL: Not if you pulled out the bolt on the bridge first.
Pete, face still puffy and bruised, pours himself a drink in the conference room. Sal blows a puff of smoke and smirks to himself.
PETE: Stop staring at it.
SAL: Did you see a doctor?
PETE: Are you joking? That’d be a riot when he read my forms. “Beaten up by an Englishman old enough to be his father”.
SAL: For all he knows, you’re talking about Cary Grant.
Alas, Poor Ida
Harry lights Sal’s cigarette.
SAL: She died?
HARRY: With Fillmore Auto Parts in the conference room.
SAL: So while Ken’s in there killing a strategy, God’s out here killing a secretary.
Hiding In Plain Sight
Sal and Stan sit in the booth under dim lights and hovering smoke.
STAN: …And ever since, it’s been Glo-Coat this, and Glo-Coat that. Don’t get me wrong, it was cute, and Don’s a genius, yadda yadda…
SAL: The problem with genius is that there’s usually very little effort involved, but it’s what they give awards for.
STAN: And when the genius fails, we’re the ones they fire.
Sal blows a puff of smoke.
SAL: That’s true.
STAN: Say, what ever happened with Garner, Jr? If you don’t mind my asking.
SAL: What have you heard?
STAN: (laughing) Some pretty crazy stories. None of which I really believed.
SAL: Did you hear the one about how he made a pass at me and I turned him down?
Stan and Sal laugh.
STAN: That’s a new one.